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Finding a Message in a Lost Life

January 28, 2013

DV RibbonRecent news accounts of a murder-suicide had an odd ending. The news story went on at length about the more famous of the duo who died by suicide. Before taking his own life, he had killed his girlfriend, who was also the mother of their child. The closing line was, “His girlfriend also lost her life.” The line seemed to equate the deaths.

While every premature death is tragic, if a person chooses to end someone else’s life, it is criminal. The girl friend did not euphemistically ‘lose her life’. Her life was violently taken from her. It was not a tragic accident. It was an intentional act.

We are approaching Super Bowl weekend. An urban legend arose that Domestic Violence increases on this testosterone intensive weekend. While that is not true, it still gives us an occasion to remember that there are thousands of victims who are near having their life taken from them. They are frightened and feel trapped. This is as good of weekend as any to remember and support them.

On February 4, 31 teams will be thinking about how they might be champions next season. Victims may not have a ‘next season’ to come back and try again. If their abuser takes their life, they are lost forever.

If you know someone who is in an abusive relationship, please do whatever you can to help that person get help before she loses her life. This is a courageous act, not to be taken casually or lightly. Professional assistance is usually needed. First, consult with local law enforcement and mental health resources to insure that your assistance will have the greatest likelihood of helping the victim. Don’t assume your rational mind will be able to comprehend the manipulation of an abuser or the fear of a victim.

You can find information and phone numbers at: or call the 24 hour crisis line: 425-252-2873

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