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December 17, 2012

12.12.12Last week, LasVegas was in the news noting that the wedding business was booming. Since this was the last day for almost 90 years before the day, month, and year will all be the same, couples were lining up for their wedding vows on this lucky day.

I like numbers. I have friends who were married on 5.5.5. I did a wedding on 7.7.7. I also had a wedding on 9.10.11. But lucky numbers are not the basis for a solid marriage.

The reality is that almost everyone starts out feeling good on their wedding day. No healthy couple comes to the altar planning to make his/her spouse miserable. Weddings by their very nature are ‘feel good’ occasions.

We need to emphasize that great marriages are built on commitment and humility. Great couples build skills in clear communication, positive conflict resolution, sustained courtship, and common values. These skills do not automatically develop. They take significant time, expert advice, and regular practice.

If you’re planning a wedding, go ahead and pick a ‘lucky’ date. As you plan all the details that go into a wedding: flowers, photos, facility, and guests, make sure you talk about how you will sustain the love that draws you to the altar.

A lot of resources exist for helping couples to build healthy, happy homes. Check out, a weekend to remember at, or marriage encounter. You can find a local counselor to ‘coach’ you as a couple. Churches offer great opportunities. We’ve invited a local counselor to come January 26, 2013 and offer couples some helpful tips to make love last for a lifetime. You can register at If you aren’t done Christmas shopping, give it as a gift to a couple you know. We are also encouraging couples to go on 10 Great Dates (Book by David and Claudia Arp) this year.

Once you choose your numbers, make the next choice to nurture your relationship as long as you both shall live. You can pick a date based on luck; love only lasts where it is ‘dated’.

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